Inspiration Station: It Takes A Village - Why Community Heals

In this episode of Inspiration Station, we explore the power of community, support systems, and belonging in a world where many are struggling with despair, loneliness, and loss of purpose. Family is important—but it can’t be our only source of support. Discover why you need a wider circle of encouragement, how to build authentic connections, and why community is the key to finding hope and purpose.

Whether you’re feeling stuck, searching for meaning, or simply in need of encouragement, this episode will remind you that you’re not alone, your life matters, and hope is within reach.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why families can’t be your only support system
• The rise of despair and hopelessness in today’s world
• What true community looks like
• How to overcome barriers to building healthy connections
• Practical steps to create your own support system
• How community fuels purpose and hope

Perfect For:

• Anyone feeling isolated, discouraged, or overwhelmed
• Listeners seeking encouragement and purpose
• People looking for personal growth, community, and hope
• Those who want to learn how to build a support system beyond family

These are the areas central to this episode: community support, family support system, finding purpose, overcoming despair, encouragement podcast, personal growth, mental health, inspiration, hope, accountability, building relationships, podcast for encouragement

The word community gets thrown around a lot, but when life hits hard, labels don’t carry weight—people do. We open with gratitude and a listener’s testimony of breaking free from addiction through accountability, then get honest about what real support looks like when the noise of media, despair, and isolation rises. From a New York childhood where neighbors actually showed up to an Acts 2 picture of shared life, we sketch a simple but demanding truth: you can’t go far alone, and not every “group” deserves to be called a community.

We draw a sharp line between fan clubs and families that truly care, and we name the quiet traps: self-reliance masquerading as strength, bingeing motivation as a substitute for a livin

WANT A SHOUT-OUT ON THE PODCAST? SEND Mista Yu a text at: (904) 867-4466. Leave your first name and the city you're reaching out to us from. We'll shout you out on the next Fan Mail episode.

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome & Listener Shout-Out
• 2:38 Defining True Community
• 5:35 Isolation vs Connection
• 8:20 Despair, Media Noise, and Belonging
• 12:02 Fake Communities and Fan Clubs
• 19:24 What Healthy Community Gives
• 23:29 Rethinking Support Systems

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:43

Welcome back to the Mr. You and your Inspiration Station. Mr. U and Mr. Ken for listening to our show. You are super supportive on all of our social media platforms. Thank you for doing what you do. I'm really excited about this opportunity. Uh, we haven't been doing a lot of inspiration stations recently, usually just scheduling and some other stuff. And sometimes I gotta be inspired. That's why they call it inspiration station. So thank you for your patience. Thank you for all of the watches and downloads and all the people who are listening and chiming in. We got a friend that reached out to us from Connecticut, our friend Honor, host of the Honest Christian Conversations Podcast, dear friend of the show. Uh, she said great episode to one of our shows about accountability recently. I believe it was uh mid-last month, so about three weeks ago, and she was saying that she loved what we had to say about accountability and how it's something that ultimately only we can truly do. She shared about her time of being addicted to pornography, and how she stopped cold turkey and began to share with people, and no one ever believed that she could accomplish it, and no one just thought she had to resolve to stay away from it, but she wanted to prove to everybody that she meant what she said when she was done with that lifestyle and she did that and she's been living pornography free today. Uh, I'm definitely somebody who's heard the fullness of this story, but I want to thank you again for sharing and being transparent, giving you a shout-out on this uh fan mail part of our episode today. So, thanks again for listening and watching everybody. Uh, today I I really wanted to get into the idea of community, and I I call it that, I call it an idea because even though it's a standard that we've talked about through many of our podcast episodes, it's also been highlighted in areas where I shared it in quotes and in scriptural references, so it's not just an idea, but it feels like we treat it as such, where we decide if it's something that we are going to fully commit to or something that we're gonna do haphazardly. When I think about community, for me, two areas come to mind. One is the neighborhood that I grew up in. I shared the story many times, and people have a bad conception not only of New York City as a whole, but also New Yorkers. I'm a living testimony where that's concerned. People assume and misjudge you in so many different ways. I can't even spend enough time to talk about that. Maybe down the road somewhere. But there's a misconception about who New Yorkers are, a misconception about how they want to live their life, the neighborhood that they grew up in, and what it's like to live there. So many misconceptions. And if you haven't lived there, you just really don't know. But what I did learn and what I did come to realize was uh a true thing and a really a blessing in my life was that growing up in New York, the neighborhood that I was in, the community I was in, it was a true community. That that old uh adage that it takes a village to raise a child, that's a real thing. I was in that. I lived that out. If I messed up on them streets, I got it from the neighbor who caught me. And when I got home, I got it from my mom. It was truly a thing. It takes a village to raise a child. I grew up in that kind of neighborhood, and that was one example for me of what community looks like. The other one is Acts chapter 2. I love it because it's a standard I believe God set for what he wants community to be. Generally speaking, without any finger pointing in specific areas, I think we fall short of that, generally speaking. This is where we move from house to house, we share all that we have, we give of ourselves, we live a sacrificial lifestyle. Nobody in the community goes without. We make sure that everyone has what they need. And you don't often see that. I don't often see that. And I've been around the sun quite a few times, and I don't always see that myself. And for me, community is always the key. I believe that not only do we learn more about ourselves through community, we also grow and we also see our breakthrough. We also see healing, we also see the miraculous take place in our life through community. So that's what happens when you don't isolate yourself. And we talked about that on many times, especially on our men's roundtable podcast. If you isolate yourself, you are kind of falling into the enemy's hands, and you're losing out on what could be an incredible, healthy, receiving atmosphere. So isolation, all it really does, it just weakens you and separates you mentally, emotionally, and even your physical well-being in many cases. Connection does the opposite, it strengthens you, helps you to build those intentional relationships, and helps fuel you emotionally, helps fuel you mentally, helps even fuel your physical well-being, your laughter, your joy, your excitement about life, your purpose, creativity, all these things. Community has all those things embedded in it. Why are we talking about community today in the first place? Well, mainly because I'm just hearing so many stories or accounts of people who are in despair. They're struggling with where they are. Some of them are taking their cues from the media. I don't adhere to that mindset, but some people are doing that. And they're making value judgments based on what they're hearing in the news. They're following other people's rallying cries and don't even know why they're doing it. Or they're just trying to find something to be attached to because their life might be that empty. Some people are thinking about ending their lives because they don't feel like they have purpose in life at all. I'm hearing all these things come across my desk within the past couple of weeks. It's keeping me in a prayer posture. It's definitely keeping me humble because you just never know the path that somebody takes to get there. It can happen to anybody, quite honestly, without the right support system, without the right community, without the right, without the right uh faith and faith-based mentality, without the identity and the sense of belonging. Anyone can get to the place where they fall into despair. So I'm not casting dispersions on those people. But I just see how impactful community can be and what it looks like when people don't have it. Now, there are a lot of wrong examples of what community looks like. I'm sure you guys can share in the comments, and I definitely encourage you to do so. Drop it in the comment section when you hear this episode. What are some bad examples of community? What's that look like? Drop that in a paragraph or so. I'd love to hear the examples that you're seeing. A lot of times people try to create communities, but they just want somebody to follow them. That pure and simple. They don't really want to create a community, they want to create a fan club. And people do that kind of stuff all the time, especially on social media. Come join us, join our group, follow our work that we're doing. And it's not a community. They just call it that because it sounds really good. It implies that there's unity within it. But it's a weak attempt to try to have a community, it's a weak attempt at building community because there's no efforts being put into, there's no actual brick being laid. It just follows me and look at me and see what I do. Or I try on this new incredible lipstick, or I try these new supplements, or I try this out, or this and that, and they they're influencers, but they're not community leaders. Those two things are not the same. Community should be something that is it should be giving as much as it is receiving. I'm gonna say that again for those that are back. I think we all need to hear that. A healthy community should be all about giving as much as it is about receiving. It should be intentional relationships, diversity and creativity and different perspectives. People who give you a hand out. Helping you get to your goals, helping to raise the standard of the community. Any community that I'm a part of, I really try to make sure that that's fostered. I want the people in the community, the members of the community, if you will, the family, to know that they matter, to know that they're seen. I know so many communities or so-called communities that don't even think about those quote-unquote checks and balances. They only care about what their particular project is or what they're trying to accomplish, and they have no thought for the people who are suffering, who are drifting back, who are falling away. They don't even see it until they don't see their name on a roster of some kind, or they don't see them log in, or or something to that nature. There's a proverb that I love. I believe it's an African proverb, and it's it I think it goes, if you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. All the things that people try to accomplish when it comes to the in the name of community, if we really think about treating people the way we want to be treated, you know, the golden rule, things would be so so much more awesome, and the communities will be so much more enriching, and people will be in a lot better place than where they are right now, unbeknownst to many so-called community leaders who have no idea that there's something going on because they haven't heard, because they just haven't been self-aware and have no idea. Support systems, it's it's a weird dynamic to me because when I hear support systems, it's usually for somebody who is dealing with some kind of addiction. And I really I know that there's more to it than that. Support systems go a lot further than that. So I want to make sure that we're not just talking about something that sounds like it's about addictive behavior because it goes a lot deeper than that. That's just when you hear it most normally. But when somebody talks about support systems, what I think about is okay, if you got a support system, that means that no matter what you're dealing with, no matter where you're going and what whatever you uh having go on in your life, you can be able to rely on these people, these individuals, these anchors in your life to help strengthen you and help lift you higher, as opposed to keeping you where you are and keeping you down, but they lift you higher. And for me, that's what support system should look like, that's what should happen. Uh, that's not what always happens, but that's what should happen, right? I've heard people who I've asked this question in community meetings and in networking groups that I'm a part of, and just somewhere in some general personal circles. And when I ask about something like a support system, or ask what do you do, what's community look like to you, a lot of times I hear everything from YouTube videos to my grandma to my favorite book, or here's what I think is really interesting: I just support myself. So, YouTube videos, my grandma, my favorite book, and I just support myself. These are what people call support systems nowadays. Wow, wow, wow. Lots to unpack there. Uh, but I have to say this because there's one part in there. I I think that the YouTube videos and the favorite book, those speak for themselves, those aren't support systems because they would have to, if they were a system, they would have to evolve and they would have to grow and be flexible and fluid. Those things aren't, they are what they are. You listen to them, you read them, and then you glean what you can get from those. That's not a support system, it doesn't solve immediate problems, it doesn't allow you to have a safe space to deal with things and have the transparency of communication and relationship and all those things. The one about I just support myself, that's crazy. Because if you're the smartest person in the room, you're probably in the wrong room. If you're the only voice that you hear, you're probably in isolation. You need to get around some people, touch some grass, and get up out of that basement. So, what's left there in those examples is the grandma or the family. And I heard I heard that one so often, and I'm I'm troubled with that one because people have gotten the impression that their family is the support system. And I struggle with that. Now, if you are in that company who feel like your family is your support system, and you stand by that, and what I just said create some uh challenges for you, please don't be angry. If you have comments, drop them in the comment section. I'd love to hear from you, talk through how you got to that place, what you see in that. But for me, I don't think it's really possible for your family to be your sole support system, especially they're the only answer. I mean, things like assumption and bias and preference are things that I've been seeing so much more now than ever. And those things in family, they even magnified even more. And in most families I've ever seen, the family likes you for where you are, or they like you where you're at right now. Not necessarily where you may necessarily need to be going. They they suggest that you shift or move or adjust a behavior or a course of action, it's almost always based on their experiences from their history with you, or their own history outside of you, or their observations of you, or their perception of you. That's where these suggestions come from. It's not because they don't have your best interest at heart. I'm not saying that part. What I'm saying is that they can't take you where you need to go because they're at the at their core, they're fine with where you are. They just love you. That's fine. But family can love you, but they can't lead you. It may sound wonderful and comforting to those that are listening, like, oh, you know what, family is my support system, but it's limited at best. If you're trying to stay comfortable and per and not kind of, and purpose is not really what you desire to understand right now in your life, you just want to just live out the rest of your days with as little trouble and difficulty as possible, then you definitely would seek out a support system that won't challenge you to move outside of your comfort zone. You keep swirling around on the bowl for as long as you can. That's what most of these support systems that use YouTube videos or their own family or their favorite book that they read in isolation or just the idea, you know what, I help myself because I don't trust anybody. That's a man-made system that doesn't work. But if you feel a pull or a deeper inclination to understand more and go deeper in breaking through some of the junk that's been the mainstay in your life for so many years now, if you're just tired of being sick and tired, then you have no other choice but to move forward. You gotta get up out of the grave that they dug for you and left you for dead in. Shake the dirt off of you that is soared with doubt and grief and shame and guilt and all the other junk. Change those clothes that only serve as a constant reminder that you were left behind, that you were left for dead, that you were abandoned, and consider those, and considered dead to those who you may have thought had your best interests at heart. For me, I'm not I'm not against family. I'm a strong proponent of family. Everything that we talk about on all of our shows, or at least most of our podcast uh shows on our brand, is about family. It's about community. I believe this uh there's a quote by Henry Rick Ibsen, and it says, A community is like a ship. Everyone ought to be prepared to take the helm. I'm all about that life. I believe in the community and the family. But I can't sit here and get on this show or show that I don't lie or I tell the truth every which way I can on all of our shows. I can't sit here and tell you that family is a solid support system for you. I can't say it. Because the same thing that they're afflicted with, you probably are too. The same pain points that they have, you probably do too. You're in the same family. Some stuff is inherited, some stuff is is caught, some stuff is taught. You can't grow from a place where you're being made to be sick in the first place. And sometimes family can do that. So it's nothing against having a supportive, loving family, but we need to have some a different perspective about what that looks like. Let's look at what Jesus said about family. I love this because this is about this is a really good example about what no he said about family. This is a passage in the book of Matthew, chapter 12, verse 46 to 50. I'm gonna read this real quick. I want you to catch this. Bear in mind, this is the words of Jesus Christ. Okay, verse 46 says, While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside wanting to speak to him. Verse 47 says, Someone told him, Your mother and brothers are standing outside wanting to speak to you. Now he's teaching, he's doing what the will of God is, he's teaching people in the synagogues who don't know what's going on, and they need the uh divine insight that he was bringing. And somebody came and interrupted him while he was teaching to tell him your mother and brothers are outside, and they want you to stop doing what you're doing and come and talk to them. Check that out now. We don't know what they want to talk about. Scripture never explains that, but they wanted to stop him from doing what he was doing so they can share something with him. Sounds like a distraction, but let's keep moving. Verse 48. He replied to him, Who is my mother and who are my brothers?

unknown: 22:10

Wow.

SPEAKER_00: 22:11

Verse 49 and 50 says, pointing to his disciples, he said, Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. Listen to that again. For whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother. What is he saying? I think it's pretty clear. Verse 50 says it whoever does the will of my father in heaven is my family. And I know that's a hard saying for people who are big in family, they go on family vacations together, they go to all of the family gatherings together, all of the outings, they celebrate every everything together, they do everything together. I'm not against that. Just hear me what I'm telling, hear what I'm saying to you today. It's not that, but what I'm saying is because of all that's going on in the world around us, all that we're seeing and hearing and feeling, all the challenges that are going on in our world, all the things that we're getting through the media, through TV, radio, podcasts, through our circles, all that we're hearing all around us, all the voices that are chattering around us, all of the bad news, all of the foreboding words that are being spoken over us. We need to have a solid support system in order to not lose it all. And unfortunately, I don't think that family, at least on their own, on their own merit, by themselves, is able to do that. We gotta surround ourselves with people who can only lift us higher. And do that intentionally, not saying, oh, you're a sweet baby, you're the very best. When y'all be out here watching these videos, like American Idol, and you watch these kids out here, and they be trying to sing on American Idol or The Voice or some singing show like that, and they sound like nails on the chalkboard, and y'all watching the screens laughing at them and resharing this over and over again and telling everybody, look at this funny video. That person that you're laughing at right there, they support this in the family, telling them that you know what? You sound great. You can sing, baby. You sound like an angel. Mama didn't tell him that he meant fallen angel. That he went all the way to a singing competition in their mid to late 20s, believing what their family said. No perspective, no sound wisdom, no wise counsel, and they believed that until they went out there and got embarrassed, and who knows what their life is right now. They may never sing another note, not even in the shower, because of how discouraged they probably are because they were laughed at and mocked on national television. Or even global television. I think so many shows are seen around the world. What's my point? Your family can't be your only source of support and accountability. What you're gonna have to do, and I want to end the show with this. What you're gonna have to start doing is thinking about stepping out. When I was mentioning biases and preferences and assumptions is something that I see in my entire life because people just made assumptions without even asking me what I thought or how I feel or get to know me as a person. And you know what? In that regard, I'm not unique. That happens to people around the world, even in your circles that you're currently leading right now, people who feel exactly the same way as that. But what I want to say to you to encourage you is even if your family is not your sole support system, what I want to encourage you to do is begin to start stepping out on faith, reaching out beyond the people who look like you, who talk like you, who think like you, who want the same things you want, who went to school with you, who worked on the same job as you, all the things that connect you together. I'm gonna encourage you to go outside of the box and begin to start finding support for people who have been a little further down the journey than you have and lean into that. Get yourself a personal board of directors, people who are in your life that have certain expertise and skills and value and accountability and begin to allow that to be the support system for you. I encourage you, take to heart what I'm saying, make that happen. Thank you for watching and listening. If you're listening to us on our listening platforms, drop a comment, if it's a five star review, and of course, you can reach out to me in the link in the show notes. Thanks for listening to Big Hallby Mr. You and your inspiration station. Thanks for watching and listening.