Inspiration Station - When Inclusion Is Not Enough/Dignity for the Disabled - Dr. Stuart Jones

A doctor advised two teenage parents to “put him away.” They refused, and that choice shaped an entire family’s understanding of dignity, disability, and what it really means to be human. We sit down with award-winning author Dr. Stuart D. Jones to talk about his memoir *For the Love of Stephen: The Story of a Boy Who Was Never Broken* and the brother who changed his life. 

Stephen grew up in the 1950s with an intellectual disability at a time when special education and disability resources were scarce and stigma was loud. We trace what it looked like for a family to practice radical love in public: pushing doors open so Stephen could be part of Boy Scouts, school, church, and everyday community life, even when people responded with cruelty. Along the way, we unpack the painful reality of abuse and exploitation, and the startling way Stephen kept choosing kindness, friendship, and forgiveness. 

We also challenge a modern buzzword: inclusion. When does inclusivity become performative, and what does true belonging require from the people “inside the door”? Dr. Jones offers a clear framework for shifting perspectives, breaking down common misconceptions about developmental disabilities, the subtle harm of pity, and why simple, genuine kindness is often the most powerful starting point. 

If this conversation moves you, share it with someone who needs a new lens on disability and belonging, subscribe for more stories that shift perspective, and leave a review to help more listeners find the show. What does “belonging” look like in your community?

Transcript

Welcome And Guest Introduction

SPEAKER_00 0:35

Welcome back to the Inspiration Station with Stories Fox Action. I'm your host, Mr. Yu. If you're watching us for the very first time, with you are and how you found us. Thanks for making us part of your week. We're live on YouTube and Facebook. And of course, you can find all of our work across all social media platforms and every podcast listening platform. Our guest today is an award-winning author of the book or memoir for the love of Stephen, a story of a boy who was never broken, Dr. Stuart D. Jones Bus. Dr. Jones, how are you, sir?

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Good day, I'm fine, Mr. U. Hey, thanks for having me. I love Inspiration Station. Your intro music's inspirational. I am pumped up because that music's got me fired up. So thank you for doing this podcast. I mean that. Thanks for bringing inspiration to the world, Mr. U. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 1:22

Same here, sir. My uh all of our songs, they just hit me in the in the field, so I'm very, very partial. I think you're pretty good. I'm I'm excited about it. This show is for people who uh recognize that they have a story, they have access to an experience that can bring insight and light to others, man. That's what this show is all about, man. Your story is fantastic. I thank you. I want to flesh it out more because I really feel like it talks about it teaching you how to really truly be human. And I think we can learn that lesson right now in 2026, so much more now than ever. So I'd love to get into that. So let's kind of start from the beginning if that's possible.

Stephen’s Story And 1950s Reality

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Who was Stephen and how did his life shape your understanding of what it means to be human?

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Yeah, my brother Stephen was our oldest sibling. We I come from a family of four kids, and I was the youngest. Steve was the oldest. My parents were just tender 18 years old, fresh out of high school. Bam, mom's pregnant. What happened there? They had to get married, and doggone it if their very first child wasn't a special needs child, right? Can you imagine being 18 years old and you're told you have a special needs child? This is back in 1954, and my parents were like, what? And in that day, in that day, Mr. U, um, there there were no services, there were no resources, there was no special education. It was just a diagnosis, and then you had to figure out what the heck you were gonna do. So growing up with Steve was absolutely a blessing. And I'll be honest with you, I didn't even know how inspirational my brother Stephen was until I became an adult and was learning more and more stories about the unique challenges that Stephen had, not as a person with a disability, but trying to be seen as fully human and being accepted and included. And my parents fought for that like pioneers. I didn't even realize how inspirational my parents were until after Stephen's death. And I started learning the stories of his life at family reunions, and I decided it was time to write a book because Stephen, while unique, is not really unique, if that makes any sense. I mean, there are millions of people with special needs that we dismiss and ignore and write off and segregate and discriminate against. And our society just has to keep doing better and recognizing who God creates and see them as fully human. And Stephen was, he was an inspiration to all of us, he really was.

SPEAKER_00 4:14

I love that, man. I know that there are some powerful lessons that have probably come out of your thinking about Stephen and maybe wrote a memoir, a book about it. So I know you had so many experiences.

Radical Love Against Shame And Institutions

SPEAKER_00 4:26

Where does dignity and unconditional love come in in the story about Stephen? Can I share that with our audience?

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Yeah. It took people, uh, it took people who had the ability to understand that we're all human beings, regardless of ability. It took individuals, and Stephen had many champions in his life. Every child needs a champion, but it took people who understood that we can be different, but that doesn't mean we're less than. Steve was labeled as mentally retarded, slow, an imbecile, a moron, an idiot, dumb. All of these terms that people use. And sometimes behind the curtains today, and in microaggressions, people are still thinking that way about those with intellectual disabilities. And so, you know, it was a it was a challenge for my parents who, again, they did not choose the common path in 1954. Mr. U, the common path back then was hide your child away in your home because it's a shameful thing. Or put them in an institution, a state home where nobody has to see them and you don't have to see them if you don't want. And that was recommended to my parents by a doctor and by a grandmother of Stevens, is to say, just put him away and you can visit him if you want to, or when you want to. My parents said no, they chose radical love at 18 and 19 years old, and that made all the difference. I guess, as Robert Frost says, they took the road less travel, but it made all the difference, right? And it did. And one more thing just to point out, I'm not trying to make my parents out to be heroes because they're human and they made mistakes. But what they chose was determination and perseverance at a time when it didn't really exist for special needs kids. My parents were kind of uh wonderfully obnoxious in that they insisted that society see their son Stephen, and they put him out in public and they had him join traditional Boy Scouts, and he was the only special needs kid. He joined 4-H. He joined, uh he finally got to, finally got to after many political battles, being in public school, and he put him in church, and they put him in a bowling league. You know, they were not parents that said, we're embarrassed by our child because he's different. Stephen is different, but not broken. And they put him out there and they made people see him and acknowledge him. And Mr. Yu, some people did, and they were wonderfully kind, and other people were cruel. And the book even has a couple chapters where people seeing Steve's kindness and vulnerability and mental challenges, they took advantage of him. And I mean, they took advantage of Stephen before we could even find out he was being taken advantage of. They stole from him, they physically beat him up at times. We didn't know that was happening. Uh, they took full his first wife, uh, took full advantage of him and cleaned him out financially, then dumped him for another guy. Poor Stephen was abused, but as a loving creature and creation of God, Stephen never became bitter, never became ugly, resentful, mean. He loved everybody, he forgave you quickly, and he saw everybody as a potential friend. If they would just be his friend, he would be your friend for life.

SPEAKER_00 8:30

I love that man. I wasn't prepared to ask this question, so it may come out kind of clunky. That happens to me.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

It won't happen.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

All right.

Abuse, Forgiveness And Unbreakable Kindness

SPEAKER_00 8:40

When I when I for me, when I hear the word inclusion, it has some negative attachments to it just because of the way I've seen it used. So I mean no harm to anybody who has stories like yours. At the same time, when you said that your parents forced people to look at him, I want to kind of I want to kind of flesh out uh whether you thought was right or wrong or how whatever you think about it. I want to kind of get there because I think a lot of people, even in today's times, maybe not in a situation, just like you are with a child had disabilities, but somebody might feel like, you know what, I'm gonna make the world see this person. But but they often don't think about the person who you want the world to see and how they feel about the labels that are probably put on it because of the uh the enforcement of that rather than you know, this person's uh natural ability to just shine through. This person describes Stephen He's a person not bitter, that shines through. You don't have to force that. All he needs is the opportunity to share what he is. So when you when you take my little cookie question, just opposite against what you already shared. How do you feel about the idea of forcing people to uh include you or someone you care about in normal watering holes or whatever? Is that something that you think is the right approach? Or is it the approach for the time that your parents were in in the 1950s?

Inclusion Versus Real Belonging

SPEAKER_01 10:20

Yeah. That no, you you asked that beautifully. Um, it can have pros and cons to it, and I really appreciate you pointing that out. To me, inclusion sometimes, or many times, unfortunately, inclusivity can be performative and disingenuous. You know, it's something that people want to do to be politically correct. I had to differentiate this with a in a lecture hall at a university a while back with future special education teachers. You know, they're going to include special needs students in their class, but I asked them something different. I said, obviously inclusion is going to happen, but how do you create an environment of belonging? And so, Mr. U, for me, Stephen did shine, but you can't see that shining. You can't see that wonderful human being if you don't push that door open, you know. Otherwise, and I hate to be negative, I think society is so quick to close doors on people. And they have we have for our entire existence, whether it's the color of your skin, your nationality, your religion, your abilities, they want to close doors because you're different than them. And people aren't always comfortable with people who look different or are different from them. And that's too bad. So sometimes I do think you've got to be a bit more assertive, not necessarily aggressive, but assertive in getting that door open so an individual can shine. But of course, it's always going to be up to the people inside that door as to whether or not they include or create a belonging environment. Many times Stephen got the door open, or my parents did, and no, he wasn't well received. He wasn't. But there were times when the people inside that door, once Stephen had a chance to shine, just because we pushed the door open and he shined and people created an opportunity for him to feel and know he belonged. Big difference between inclusion and belonging. And we got to bridge the gap from being inclusive to creating a belonging environment for somebody. So sometimes I think you've got to knock hard on the door, you've got to push the door open. And but it didn't mean that Steve was always belonged, but at least it gave him opportunities, Mr. U to have the chance to belong and show that he can shine in different situations. And he did.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

No, I love that. I love that.

Misconceptions, Pity And Fear

SPEAKER_00 13:05

Uh if there is one misconception that you think people have about individuals that have uh uh developmental uh challenges or intellectual challenges, maybe they have issues with their speech. Uh what do you think is one of the biggest misconceptions? Can I help the listeners who may uh just see this as something abstract and freakish and they just want to just get away from it because they don't understand it? What's the misconception that you think you can uh help the audience out of today?

SPEAKER_01 13:33

Gosh, I appreciate that because I know your podcast is about shifting perspectives. That's what my book tries to do. I call my book a mirror, a memorial, and a movement. It's a mirror because as people read it, and I know this for a fact now because of the 80-some reviews that I've gotten where people have written about my book, it shifted and changed the way they think forever. And I feel like God has blessed an opportunity now because if I'm shifting people's minds and hearts, that's what I wanted all along. People tend to see others like Stephen or those with autism or Asperger's or any kind of disability. Number one, they're so quick to dismiss them as not fully human. Human nature is that we're afraid of that which we don't understand or know, and we back off from it. I've seen this my whole life. I've seen it in the way people treat others who are different. People are leering, and therefore they be they create a distance. Please don't do that. Please allow people to be people. I know sometimes people are uncomfortable around those with disabilities, especially severe disabilities. But I'll tell you what, that individual can hear, they can understand more than you realize, and they have feelings, and they know when they're being excluded and dismissed and ignored, and they know when you're being genuinely friendly. Just be friendly. As I always say, be kind. You can't go wrong being kind. Be kind. That's the number one thing. And real quickly, a couple other quick things. People tend to have pity. If they're not unkind and dismissive, they tend to pity these individuals. And I'm telling you, Steve did not want anyone's pity. Most of them do not want your pity. They just want to belong. Just be kind and include them. Make them feel like any other person you would meet or greet. Um, and thirdly, the fear factor, just like I said before, being afraid of these individuals. I write a chapter in the book where I'm asking people to hold up a mirror and really look at themselves and how they react to somebody with a disability that it's obvious they have a disability. How do you react? And you're gonna have to work really hard to get out of your own head and get into your heart and allow yourself to see this person not as odd or weird or frightening or I'm scared and I'm uncomfortable. Who cares if you're uncomfortable? You know, please be kind to that person. Get out of your comfort zone and speak to them and greet them. That's that's that's the shifting in perspective that I want readers to get from my book. I promise when they read it, they will. They will shift their perspective.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

I love it, man. Thank you for being here and for sharing so much of this story, man. This is uh means a lot to me, and I'm sure many of our listeners and our viewers. I want to ask you to kind of uh round out our broadcast by doing one simple thing for me.

A Message To Parents And “Stevens”

SPEAKER_00 16:44

I know you wrote a memo on a book regarding your brother. But today I want you to kind of end, help end our show by speaking, maybe just 16 or 120 seconds. Speak to the Stevens out there and their parents who might be listening. Almost as if it's a personal memo. Even if Stephen were listening right now, what would you say to Stephen, all the Stevens that are out there and their parents who are listening? And then we'll go ahead and have you let's walk over there and find your work, and then we'll go ahead and close out. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

All right. To the Stevens that are out there, you are worthy. You are created by God. To the parents out there, you're doing a great job. Don't think you're messing up. I have a chapter in my book specifically for parents. And if you're a person of faith or not, please just think about Psalm 139, 14, which says, I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You are to the Stevens and the parents, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You're made for this child, parents. So please remember that you're doing a great job. Your child does belong. Don't be embarrassed, don't be ashamed. Put your child out there. They all have special abilities. Let them discover what they are and let them shine.

SPEAKER_00 18:01

Thank you so much, sir.

Where To Find The Book And Closing

SPEAKER_00 18:02

Award-winning author of the memoir For the Love of Steven, the story of a boy who was never broken.

unknown 18:07

Dr.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

Stuart D. Jones, his Amazon link is on the screen for those that are watching and listening right now. Of course, if you didn't catch that and you're not watching, you are listening, you can find that book on Amazon. For the love of Stephen, the story of a boy who was never broken. Thanks, Dr. Jones, for making us part of your day and bringing this inspirational story to us, man. Appreciate you so much.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

It's my pleasure, Mr. U. Thank you. And keep doing the good work you're doing. I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00 18:30

I do my best, sir. You guys that are watching and listening for the very first time. Thanks for making us part of your week. That's Dr. Stuart Jones. I'm Mr. U. Have a great day. Thanks again for being allowed to inspire you.